Secret trick

3 dollars to whoever guesses what trick AJ is doing. You will be paid in bolts of thunder currency, which is highly valuable in the international market.

Parisian fun

This picture shows how happy you are when you skate in paris

Today's post

Double lip slide all the way across the sky

Batman Again

You didn't think I'd have anything else crazy to say about work this week, but you'd be wrong. Today I assisted in the arrest of a creepy man that was hanging out in the women's bathroom. When I say assisted in his arrest, I was the one that called the cops. Then I just sat there and watched. And when he refused to give the cops his name, sit down, say if he had any weapons, or say what he was doing in the women's bathroom, he decided he'd have better luck running. He was wrong. I snapped a couple good shots of the cops taking him down and arresting him after he gave a very feeble attempt at running away. What fascinates me most about these pictures is that the girl sitting on the rock eating her sandwich seems either indifferent or oblivious to the incidents going on behind her. She must be eating a Subway. Ask Kenzo, those are good... Anyway, The cops tackled him down, emptied his bag, and took him away in their car. They told me that he never said what he was doing, he didn't have any ID on him, and that he was crazy. He reminds me of Joker from the new Batman movies. We took down Joker today. Just a normal day at work.

The Firm part 2

You don't come across good stories every day, and when you do, you need to be sure and share them with others. That is why I am writing today, dear reader. I have an awesome story to tell you. One that involves star-crossed lovers, spies, spies spying on spies, and hiding in bushes. It involves love, hate, and a strange itch on the top of my hand. But that's another issue. Back to my story.

So at work yesterday (I work at a park. I keep it clean. Or at least try to) I was picking up trash on a trail up above the park when I noticed a couple (that means a man and a woman) kissing in one of the parking lots. They were kind of hiding behind their car which was parked in the back corner of the back parking lot, so it looked fishy from the start. But then I noticed a man running really fast on the other side of these trees, like he was trying to get a good view of them kissing. The immediate thought was that he was a pervert trying to spy on them, but perverts don't run that fast unless they're fleeing the scene of a crime. In that case, they run real fast. But when a potential peeping tom session is on the horizon, they tend to swoop in nice and secret like, not running frantically. Don't ask me how I know this, just random bits of knowledge I've picked up along the way I guess. Anyway, the dude (I will from here on out refere to the spying man as "the dude") ran around behind these trees then disappeared inside of them. A few seconds later the couple stopped kissing and began walking on this trail to another part of the park. As soon as they left, the dude popped out of the bushes right next to their car and started following them on the side of the trail. My next thought was that he was the husband of the woman and he was ready to get his revenge on her lover.

In this strange situation, I found myself spying on a couple that had another man spying on them and spying on the man that was spying on the couple without him knowing I was spying. I wonder if anyone was spying on me? That would have been awesome... So in such a strange situation, I did what any responsible, reasonable person would have done. I took out my phone and started taking pictures. So I sat their stalking the stalker, taking pictures of him as I hid behind a bush on this trail up on the mountain. The dude followed the couple for a ways until they stopped walking and started making out again. The dude then creeped on the ground, ninjaed his way over to where he had a clear shot, and lied on the ground staring at them.

It was at this point that things got even weirder and potential very deadly. The man reached for something in his back pocket that looked like a gun at first, and I thought he was going to pop a cap in their A's. For those of you who don't avidly listen that hippidy bop, that means shoot them dead. Expire them. Pop a cap... But it wasn't a gun. Instead, it was a pair of binoculars, and he took his stalking one step further. Then he pulled out a camera and started taking pictures. But I beat him to it, and I already had like 8 pictures of the entire scene.

Then the couple started walking again, and he ducked down as low as he could as to not be seen, and turned around as he did so, looking straight up at me. I slowly ducked down behind the bush and used my mutant power and earth-toned cloning to blend into the scenery. But the man must have seen or thought he saw something because next thing I knew, he had his binoculars pointed up the mountain at me.

It was at this point that I thought of the movie "The Firm" and maybe I would get to star in my very own version of this story. I would get caught seeing a heinous crime, and the dude would come after me. I stayed low as my heart raced, and I tried my best to blend. Don't ask me how I do it, I just do. I blend.

The guy gave up on me and went off after the couple again. He snapped off a couple more pictures of them kissing then high-tailed it out of there. He took a couple pictures of their car, then got in his car which was parked in a secret spot, then he took off, not to be seen again. My guess is that he's a private investigator hired by the woman's husband to find out why she's not going to work these days. She was dressed nice like she should have been at the office, and her lover was dressed like crap like he should have been out pulling weeds with me. I also had a nicely trimmed mullet with steps shaved into the side of his head. The cream of the crop, no doubt, at at the bar she picked him up at.

I guess my story ends there. It was scary though. I ran into the couple 3 times after that, and they kept staring at me like I was the private I. And I guess I was, but I'm not turning them in to anyone specific, just to the world in general. So here are some pictures of the scene. I was far and zoomed in all the way on my camera, so they're hard to see, but you can see the couple's heads poking out of the bushes with the dude hiding on the ground on the left side. He's wearing blue. If people start chasing me or want me dead, this is why, so now that you've read this story, you're in on it too. Sorry...

A warning cry

This post comes by way of a strict warning. As you can see by the squint on my face, the stare in my eyes, and the length of my scum stache, we're not joking or playing around with this video any longer. It's getting real mean, real serious, and real ugly real fast.

Artsy # 2

Traveling even faster than light

As artsy as they come

That's right

One small Ollie for Jon. One big Ollie for AJ

This picture represents one of the greatest moments ever documented with camera, like unto landing on the moon or president Clinton confessing to have had inappropriate relationships with Monica lewinsky. That was awesome. I already knew he was lying from the beginning, but nobody would listen to me.

Paris video

A couple years ago we embarked on what became an epic journey through space and time. It was to Paris, and we skated. That's all we did. To prove these statements to you, Garrett has furnished us with a video recap of our wild adventures whilst riding the streets and banks of Paris. I think all of this footage is in Bolts of Thunder Gone Wild, but here is Garrett's edit of it. Thanks, Garrett!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Dg55T-eZmI&list=UUDk8QEtQlXbFPRmZE2cfxKw&index=1

Welcome back, AJ

Today made bolts of thunder history. I posted a post so obscene, so vile, so filthy, so offensive that I had to take the post down. If you saw it, you know exactly why it's gone. If you're curious about, come talk to me. We'll chat. So now I give you a post with some good old fashioned skating given to us by our very own AJ! Today marks AJ's return to filming after his injury. Welcome back, AJ!

Park, day 2

Today's session at the park was what some might describe as 'hairy'. Not that it wasn't fun because it was super fun. But it brought me back to my days in Nam with objects and human projectiles flying at me. I also unlocked the skatepark achievement if 'sprained wrist' for falling on it three times. It's not very mobile now, but such is life. Anyway, here's a couple photos from the day's session. And there's even a video of me that I uploaded! Thanks, Zak, for filming. Enjoy!

Provo park

The Provo skate park opened today! Here's a picture of it. Not the best picture, I'll admit, but I was too anxious to skate. But we will get some more photos soon.

I would like to take this time to thank the parking lot for being so good to us over the years. We will stop by often and maybe even hold an ending session to put our old park to rest. You will not be forgotten. Now a moment of silence to remember our old spot and the good times we had there...

Magical fone

Now that I have an iPhone I can take pictures and put them on the blog. So here are the first couple I've taken. Good times. Oh yeah, I cut down a big tree this weekend, I'll put up a picture of that too. And while I'm at it, I'll put up pictures of the other things I used as beds in Vermont and Boston: my rental fiat car and a bench at the airport. I spent almost 24 hours in the airport just so I wouldn't have to breathe in animal hair. I'm brave like that

Sleepless in Sharon

Ask Dave, and he'll tell you. I'm not sure why Dave knows this so well, either, but he does. Maybe it's because he was the first person I saw after surviving Africa and I unleashed all my near-death encounters on him. But when I travel, I usually have to have a night or two of craziness in order for it to be a normal trip. Like when we went to Paris last October and slept on a bench the first night because we were locked out of our hotel room. But as I write this, dear reader, I am in and out of sleep in the bath tub of a stranger's house in Vermont. He was very good to let me stay at his place (he's the bishop in the town where I am) because my hotel was so nasty that it was making me sick. I'm allergic to animals, and the hotel was covered in animal hair which was making my throat hurt. But what he failed to tell me before offering me his house was that he has a cat and dog that like to call his guest room home, and my allergies have never been this bad. I changed the sheets on the bed after I woke up this morning with a swollen throat, but the clean sheets already have cat hair embedded into their very fibers. I slept for 4 hours tonight then woke up with the worst sore throat I've had in years, and a number of other painful symptoms. After taking some Benadryl and wandering out of my hair-infested room, I stumbled into the bathroom in a drug-induced stupor of thought. Realizing that the bath tub is likely free of most animal hair, probably the most animal hair-less structure in the house, I crawled in it and closed the curtain. And here I lie, with nothing more than my new phone (thanks, Rachel!) and your undivided attention to keep me company. I will be honest in saying that I already feel better after crawling in to sleep in the bath, likely due to its lack of animal hair. But don't worry, it has human hair to comfort me.

So what do I do now? I wait. I wait it out till morning. That's all I've got. if the cat hair's going to play dirty, so am i, by sleeping where one goes to get cleaned. very symbolic. I imagine I'll get in a couple solid rounds of bejeweled blitz and try my hardest not to make any sounds as I readjust my position from time to time. I really don't want him to find me sleeping in his bath tub, that would suck for both of us, so I'll do my best to be quiet. I feel sleep taking over again, I'm out...

I took a picture of myself in the tub as evidence that this is, indeed, my current predicament in life. Till next time.